Here is an email that I received a few days ago from a really insightful friend.
So… the encouragement I want to give to you is to breathe in the new thing of finding and expressing community and purpose and breathe out the old, stale mindset and I think you’ll be amazed at what will develop. You’ve been doing it consciously, but maybe there’s some benefit for doing it in a contemplative/meditative manner.
She nailed it! You can call the process that I have been going through for the last several years by many names… deconstruction, healing, re-inventing myself, getting in touch with who I really am, re-education, etc. It has been long, difficult, lonely, characterized by trial and error, mood swings, and huge shifts in my perspective. I certainly don’t want things to go back the way they were because I feel more in touch with God and myself than ever. I am actually excited about the future.
Back to my friend and this breathing thing, I am wondering about what needs to be breathed out and what needs to be breathed in.
Breathe out church as institution that happens at set times
Breathe in church as life that happens anytime, all the time
Breathe out my identity coming from having the title, “pastor”
Breathe in living out my life as a compassionate person
Breathe out needing a structure to respond
Breathe in responding as the need, the spirit and the heart dictates
Breathe out guilt, failure, and self-loathing
Breathe in unbounded forgiveness, love, and purposefulness
Breathe out needing to be needed
Breathe in enjoying a quiet day
Breathe out a schedule full of church activities
Breathe in a life full of opportunities that may pop up anywhere
Breathe out hurt and disappointment
Breathe in forgiveness and a new present reality
Breathe out frustration
Breathe in determination
Breathe out the dogma
Breathe in the practice
Breathe out endless rehashing
Breathe in endless possibilities
Breathe out control
Breath in love
Breathe out preoccupation
Breathe in joy
How’s your breathing?
This post was originally published March 2, 2010.
