Feeling Flat

When you’re stumped, when you have writer’s block; write about that.

That’s a paraphrase of what Bono said about said songwriting. I can always think of something to write about. This blog is evidence of that fact. But I do feel a little flat.

I feel like I need a challenge, a task, a mission to occupy my mind and my body. The book is in the hands of the editor and the cover artist. The back-and-forth hasn’t started yet. I have submitted writings to other sites. I have done everything I can think of for my wife’s cottage business. I have done about everything I can think of for my business, at this point. I am scheduled for training as a Red Cross volunteer later this month. There is no family crisis here or in Missouri at the moment. However, it is a good time to launch into a season of household odd jobs, something for which I really should generate some enthusiasm.

Our search for meaning is a fascinating thing. It seems like we are either too busy to think about it or are totally consumed by it. I think some of us need it more than others. I am one of the more needy ones, like some kind of weird junkie. Not having something that captures my imagination and my heart causes me to feel empty with a profound sense of emotional pain, even agony.

Usually, I just don’t care about things that don’t matter. When I say that, someone usually feels compelled to say something like: do the little things with greatness; or, find meaning in the ordinary; or, dream big and live small.

I am a big proponent of “the dream,” that thing we are most passionate about. I think it comes from God. It has to mature, morph, and die a time or two, before much happens. That’s the way we, and our dreams grow into something better through the process. The dream is full of thousands of details, setbacks, and times when things just feel flat. So, there is something to dreaming big and living small.

Honestly, I believe I need to do better at embracing the more ordinary times of life. My attitude is probably keeping me from experiencing the joy of the “ordinary.” I guess if we are fully alive and in the moment, nothing is ordinary.